


Letter To Jack

by AllTimeMelanie



Category: All Time Low (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-08
Updated: 2019-11-07
Packaged: 2021-01-25 05:36:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21351094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AllTimeMelanie/pseuds/AllTimeMelanie
Relationships: Jack Barakat/Alex Gaskarth
Kudos: 3





	1. 1

Dear Jack,

You're gonna hate me for writing this. I wish I'd realized sooner that I was never going to find another you. I hate dating Lisa. Ever since I moved here everything I've ever known has been you. I love you. There I said it. Alexander admits defeat finally. I wanna be with you but you would rather fuck around with other people but hey that's you. That kills me. Lisa broke up with me, you're probably happy. You always hated when she would come on tour with us. You hated how vocal she was, Well Jacky that's revenge for every time I've woken up in the middle of the night to one of the bitches screaming your name hardly getting it right because they are drunk off their ass. I guess my biggest question is why don't you believe in love? You say love's overrated, I say it's complicated. Why do I love you? I should hate your guts but I don't. You're such a bitch but yet I love you. You stand there everyday and watch me out of the corner of your eye but you just live as if you don't see me. Do you- no I know you don't. Trust me. I would do anything to make my younger self not break your heart or mine for that matter. I would do anything to be yours again. Unfortunately, Jacky that's not how the world works. You never understood my skeleton tattoo because you always ask my reason behind it. You say "Why is a skeleton dressed like a skeleton?" So I guess I'll tell you. I got nothing left to lose at this point. Remember 2002 when we ran away? We went to Vegas, you said on Halloween that you wanted to marry me but you were drunk off of your ass. I wish I had married you that night, drunk or not because I would've been happy. So yeah that's my tattoo story and my life story. I also just poured my heart out, you'll never respond or receive this letter. I don't know if I want you to though. Maybe it's better keeping everything a secret Ugh!!!! I hate this!

I love you.

I really do.

Love,

Alexander


	2. Life With You Is Making Me Sick

Alex Gaskarth's life seemed to be a daily routine. Wake up in a small ass bunk, drink excessively, play a show with his 3 best friends, fuck his girlfriend if she was on tour with them or party on the bus, then go to bed to do it all over again. Today his routine seemed to be slipping. When Alex woke up he found himself in his apartment hungover with his arm slung over his naked girlfriend. "Lisa? Lis? Baby?" He said reaching out to poke the sleeping brunette's figure. "mmmmmm Lex. Last night was perfect. Thanks baby." Lisa said half asleep. Alex kissed her on the forehead and got up to make breakfast and take some painkillers for his fucking hangover. It must have been some party last night. When he reached the medicine cabinet, he opened it and saw it revealed some of Lisa's vitamins, her prescribed medicine and his anixeity medicine but no painkillers. "Hey babe? Can you bring down some painkillers?" Alex called up to Lisa. He started to get to work on breakfast knowing his hangover would go away faster if he ate something. He had just gotten the bacon out when the doorbell rang. "I'll get it." He yelled even though it's not like Lisa would get it. He opened the door to reveal a crying Jack also his best friend, brother from another mother, that kinda thing. Jack was crying heavily, tears streaming down his face. "Jay? What's wrong? Come in." Alex grabbed Jack and pulled him into the living room. "I just I don't know Alex. I'm sorry for being here." Jack went to get up but Alex's concerned and stern glare stopped him. "okay fine. I realized I think I'm not really a relationship person. I just like to fuck ya know?" Alex stared at him. Jack leaned over and kissed him. Alex pushed him away immediately. "Jack?! What the fuck?! I'm not gay!!!!" Jack's look faltered. "It's okay I didn't feel anything. It's like I only want a good time and not a commitment. I feel like a bad person." Alex placed his hand on Jack's knee. "You're a great person Jacky. You've been there through the thick and thin. You'll find someone one day. You just need to find your Lisa." Alex smiled. Jack scoffed. "Alex you and Lisa have been on and off for so long. If that's a definition of a perfect couple I'm good. I'll go ask Ri and Cass." "Screw you!" Alex said pushing him. Jack smirked. "Gladly." "Shut up Barakat. You want Breakfast?" "Sure." The two headed into the kitchen to make breakfast for them and Lisa. And both of them thought that was the end of that. How wrong they were.


	3. Inner Thoughts

Jack followed Alex into the kitchen to help him make breakfast. "Hey Lex?" Lisa called down from upstairs. Alex paused obviously forgetting his girlfriend was in the house. "Yeah Baby?" He gave Jack the eggs signaling to crack them so they could have eggs and bacon. "Who was at the door?" "Jack. Have you got my painkillers?" Lisa didn't respond so Alex figured she went to get ready. His girl always had to look tip top when someone else was over. Alex never understood when it was just the two of them she would wear no makeup and push her hair into a messy bun but when someone else was over her makeup was perfect and her hair was curled. As the two boys worked on Breakfast, Jack's mind seemed absent. It was almost like Alex and Jack had switched personality's this morning while the British boy was running around with a hangover none the less while his best friend zoned out more than once. Jack just couldn't get the feeling of Alex's lips out of his mind. He had obviously kissed Alex before as the British boy was his ex boyfriend. He sometimes wondered if Alex still liked him like that but considering his reaction and the fact he was with Lisa said otherwise. Lisa entered the kitchen a few minutes later wrapping her arms around Alex. "Good morning babe. These are for you." She put the painkillers on the counter and went to make Coffee. "Hi Jack." Alex downed the two painkillers with a cup of tea watching the two loves of his life interact. He sorted hated how awkward they acted around each other. He felt as Lisa didn't trust Jack especially when they were on tour which is why Lisa usually tagged along with them. Jack most likely sensed that as least that's what Alex thought. They all sat down at the table with their respective plates of food. "So Jack what brings you to la Casa de Ruocco y Gaskarth." Jack stared at her for a good minute before Alex said "What brings you to our house this morning, Mr. French." Alex laughed. "That was Spanish?!" Jack asked appalled, as Lisa and Alex laughed at him. "Anyways, I just needed my brother this morning." Lisa smiled at him. "Then I offered for him to stay for breakfast." Alex finished. "Ah I see. Well I got to get ready for work." "On a Saturday?" Alex visibly pouted. Lisa kissed his pout while Jack tried to not throw up. "Yeah, I have to finish an article about dating." Alex laughed. "You better write highly about me." Lisa laughed and said "Sure........ Just kidding. Bye baby." Just like that, the two boys were left alone. "Do you wanna do something today?" Alex asked Jack who looked just a bit under the weather. "I'm Sorry Lex but I have plans with Zack today." Jack said standing up and giving Alex a kiss on the forehead. Alex knew he was lying immediately but let it slide, Jack would tell him when he was ready.

AN HOUR LATER 

Alex was lying on his couch playing Grand Theft Auto 5 on the Xbox. This was the third time he had killed himself in the game in the span of five minutes. "FUCK YOU! Dammit!" He yelled as he threw the controller across the room. He couldn't get the thought of Jack's lips on his out of his mind. He knew his still liked the younger but he loved Lisa too. Both were great people who could read him like an open book and knew the second there was something off. Why would Jack just kiss him to prove a point? Alex thought. He would have believed him as Jack had no reason to lie to him and Alex could tell when he was lying. Ugh his brain really fucking hurt. A nap seemed perfect at the moment.


	4. It's Harder Breathing Next To You

Jack was at a bar, well specifically a gay bar. His already drunken self had stumbled upon it while walking down a street. It was kinda a prostitution bar as many people were going into rooms on the second floor. I went to the bar and ordered a round of tequila. The lights were dim and colored and the room was hazy from all the fake smoke machines. Jack noticed a guy out of the corner of his eye and wait......was that Alex? He downed a shot before getting up and following the dude. I followed the guy up to the second floor and I called out to him.

"Alex? Lex? Lexy?" The guy turned around to face Jack. Jack's eyes couldn't help but tear up when he saw Alex. "Jack? What the hell are you doing here?" The older looked taken aback and kinda pissed off. Jack laughed. "Yeah I could ask you the same thing? What about Lisa?" Alex laughed right in Jack's face. "We had creative differences. I like it here though." Jack couldn't help but stare at Alex's lips as he spoke. He didn't like his best friend, he just couldn't. The Déjà vu was beginning to set in. Alex noticed Jack was kinda zoned out at the moment. He took the initiative and leaned in and kissed the younger. No prying eyes were laid upon them as they were kinda still in a gay bar. 

Suddenly Jack had a feeling the roles were wrong. He grabbed Alex's legs and wrapped them around his waist pushing Alex's back into a nearby wall behind them. Their lips reconnected and both boys didn't know if it was lust or love that had overtaken them. At that point they didn't really care as they craved each other and that was totally enough. Alex pushed Jack away and looked into his eyes. "Jack. I-I- Need you. P-Ple-ease." 

Jack leant back into to kiss Alex but the elder was gone and suddenly Jack realized that he was in his own bedroom. "Fuck." He whispered. A part of Jack really wished that it wasn't a dream. There was a knock on his bedroom door. "Come in." Jack yelled to the person on the other end of the door. Zack entered into the room. "Oh hey man." Zack nodded at the younger. "You okay Jacko? You look like you're in wonderland." Jack focused on the real world and said "I'm fine. Just a weird dream. Really weird." Zack laughed.

"Looks like it was pretty good." Zack said. Jack looked down and yeah morning wood was totally a thing. Jack groaned as he noticed it and yeah that could add to why he was fucking uncomfortable. "Go away." Jack said sheepishly. Zack just laughed some more and exited the room most likely going to hang out in the younger's living room until he finished. 

Jack decided to head into the shower as it would be easier and he wouldn't risk moaning out the certain boy who had been haunting his dreams name. He got into the shower and let the water run over his body. He thought of his dream and all the issues within it.

Yes, Alex was bisexual but he swore he would never go into a gay bar whereas Jack would. So why was dream Alex in there with him. And throughout their life and previous relations Jack was always the first to instigate everything so why did Alex kiss him first? Jack could also see in his eyes that he loves Lisa way too much so differences? His head really hurt.


End file.
